What Gabor Maté, Bessel van der Kolk, Lisa Feldman Barrett and Antonio Damasio say about why rituals work

(a continuation of the article on body, repetition, and the nervous system)

There are moments when we can no longer keep up with the rhythm of the world.
Moments when the body lags behind, the mind runs ahead, and emotions gather into a knot that no longer knows how to untie itself.
In such moments, something in us instinctively reaches for a gesture: a deeper breath, a touch, a lit candle, a slower step.

Rituals appear where words no longer reach. Where the body asks for a form, and the psyche asks for a rhythm.

And if the first article spoke about rhythm, body, and the nervous system, the natural continuation is this: what does deep science say about rituals?
What do the authors who changed the way we understand trauma, emotion, the body, and meaning say?

Four voices — Maté, van der Kolk, Barrett, and Damasio — look at rituals from different angles, yet arrive in the same place: rituals work because they touch the exact places where human experience is formed.

Although they come from different directions, what these authors say meets in one shared point: the body, emotion, and perception are not separate — and rituals work precisely at this intersection.

Gabor Maté: Ritual as a return to the authentic self

Gabor Maté says that “trauma is the absence of the authentic self.” Not the event itself, but the inner rupture it creates.

In this light, rituals become spaces of return. Not to an ideal self, but to the real one — the one that breathes, feels, trembles, searches.

For Maté, chronic stress and trauma pull us out of the body. Rituals bring us back. They:

• slow down the internal rhythm
• reduce hyperactivation of the stress system
• create a micro‑oasis of safety in the middle of a busy day

Micro‑example:A person who, before a difficult conversation, places a hand on their chest and breathes three times. It doesn’t change the external situation, but it changes the place from which they enter it.

A small ritual — a breath, a candle, a repeated gesture — becomes an anchor of authenticity.

Bessel van der Kolk: Ritual as reorganizing the body that “keeps the score”

In The Body Keeps the ScoreBessel van der Kolk states that “trauma reorganizes both the brain and the body.” Not only thoughts change, but rhythms, reflexes, tensions, the way the body anticipates the world.

Rituals are micro‑somatic interventions that reorganize, slowly and repeatedly, what trauma has fragmented. They:

• reduce hyperactivation of the amygdala (the brain’s alarm center)
• reactivate the prefrontal cortex (the part that helps us calm down and choose)
• rebuild bodily coherence through rhythm

Micro‑example: A woman who, every evening, places one hand on her abdomen and one on her chest and stays a few minutes in silence.
She is not “doing” anything visible — but the body slowly begins to learn that it is no longer in danger.

For van der Kolk, rituals are bodily experiences that restore the sense of safety. Not through explanation, but through felt experience.

Lisa Feldman BarrettRitual as rewriting the brain’s predictions

Lisa Feldman Barrett says that “emotions are predictions of the brain, not raw reactions to reality.” The brain does not react to the world — it anticipates it.

This means that rituals are ways of recalibrating predictions. When you repeat a gesture, the brain learns: “Here there is safety. Here there is rhythm. Here I can settle.” Rituals become:

• updates to internal models
• corrections to anxious predictions
• gentle training for a new emotional state

Micro‑example: A single conscious step, in the middle of a busy day, that shifts the rhythm of the entire day. Not because the world changed, but because the internal prediction adjusted.

In Barrett’s language, a ritual is a gentle reprogramming of the brain.

Antonio Damasio: Ritual as integration between body, emotion, and consciousness

Antonio Damasio says that “emotion is the way the body shows us what matters.” Not a disturbance, not an obstacle — a guide.

Rituals become spaces where emotion can be felt, translated, integrated.

• stabilize homeostasis (the body’s internal balance)
• create positive somatic markers
• align the body with meaning

Micro‑example: Lighting a candle in the morning — not for calm, but to mark the beginning of a consciously lived day.

For Damasio, a ritual is a meeting between body and consciousness.

What research says about rituals

Studies from psychology, neuroscience, and anthropology show that rituals:

• reduce anxiety by increasing predictability
• lower sympathetic activation and increase vagal tone (supporting nervous system regulation)
• improve performance under stress
• increase the sense of control and internal coherence
• facilitate transitions (grief, change, beginnings)
• strengthen identity and belonging

Research by Francesca Gino and Michael Norton (Harvard) shows that rituals reduce anxiety even when people do not believe in them. It is not belief that makes them effective, but structure.

Not all rituals work for everyone. Not every repetition becomes transformation.

Sometimes the ritual remains just a gesture. Other times, it becomes avoidance — a subtle way of not feeling.

The difference is not in the form, but in the presence. In how much of you is there when you do it.

Rituals are, in essence, natural antidotes to chaos.

A bridge toward practice: what a science‑informed ritual looks like

An effective ritual is not complicated. It does not need a fixed form, but intention, rhythm, and repeatability.

Sometimes rituals do not work only with the present. They touch older layers — rhythms learned in the family, ways of feeling, reacting, protecting.

In this sense, a ritual is not only personal. It is also systemic.

It can begin with:

• a slow breath that tells the body “you are safe”
• a repeated gesture that tells the brain “I know what comes next”
• a touch or an object that tells the psyche “I am here”
• a conscious step that tells the emotion “I can feel you”

The ritual is not about perfection. It is about returning.

Rituals as places where we return to ourselves

Perhaps rituals work because they are, at the same time, very simple and very profound. Because they touch the body, the mind, the emotion, and the symbol in the same gesture. Because they are both neurophysiology and poetry.
Both somatics and meaning. Both repetition and transformation.

Maté tells us that ritual returns us to authenticity.
Van der Kolk tells us that ritual reorganizes the body.
Barrett tells us that ritual rewrites the brain’s predictions.
Damasio tells us that ritual aligns the body with consciousness.

Together, they say the same thing: rituals are the way we return to ourselves — slowly, repeatedly, with meaning.

Because sometimes we do not get lost in chaos. We simply lose our rhythm.

And rituals are the way we find it again.

Maybe we do not need perfect rituals. Just small, repeated gestures that keep us close to ourselves.

Why do rituals affect the nervous system?

Rituals create predictability, and the nervous system responds to predictability with relaxation. When we repeat a simple gesture — breathing, movement, touch — the body learns it is safe, and stress levels decrease.

Can rituals reduce anxiety?

Yes. Studies show that rituals reduce anxiety even when we do not believe in them. It is not symbolic meaning that matters most, but the repetitive structure that offers stability and internal control.

What is the link between rituals and trauma?

Trauma affects not only the mind, but also the body and the nervous system. Rituals, being repeated bodily experiences, can help regulate these reactions and rebuild a sense of safety.

Do rituals need to be complicated to work?

No. The most effective rituals are often the simplest. A conscious breath, a repeated gesture, or a moment of presence can have real impact when done with attention and consistency.

Why don’t rituals work sometimes?

Because not every repetition brings transformation. A ritual becomes effective when there is presence, not just automatism. The difference is not in the gesture, but in the way we live it.

Can rituals influence emotions?

Yes. According to neuroscience, emotions are influenced by how the brain anticipates experiences. Rituals help recalibrate these predictions, creating space for more stable emotional states.

Are rituals only personal, or do they have a deeper dimension?

Although they appear individual, rituals can touch deeper layers — emotional patterns, learned rhythms, ways of reacting formed over time. In this sense, they can have a broader impact than it seems at first glance.

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Not every journey shows up on a map. Some of them go inward.

Nine Stops and a Journey Within is the journal of my own journey — not toward a place, but toward myself. Nine thresholds, nine stops, shaped as ritual rather than itinerary, written to accompany you wherever you are right now. It's available as an ebook, in EPUB format, on Lulu — in both Romanian and English.

Read it in Romanian – Nouă opriri și un drum interior Read it in English: Nine Stops and a Journey Within